I was around 15 years old, when I first questioned the ‘unknown power’. I was at my cousin’s marriage when I witnessed the ceremony known as ‘Vidaayi’. It was hard to watch. In the middle of all the happiness, at the very end of everything, everyone had tears in their eyes. It was tough to watch, not because I was close to her or something, but because, next would be my own sister with whom I have spent all my childhood.
We were leaving to our hometown the next day, when my eyes fell on her. I never felt such feelings for her ever before. It was for the first time when I had a thought of loosing her, crossed my mind. It was terrible, strange kind of fear ran throughout my veins. It was the first time when I looked up and asked for the answer of how will I face that situation? You know what happened next? God changed the question all together. My sister died the next year. Since then, I fear of asking questions. I never look up for answers because I fear that with the answer, will come few more questions and with questions, will come few more answers and this cycle will keep on going.
After so many years, today, I am looking up for some help. Today, I have no question to ask but I am looking for some explanations. For all this confusion and everything, I think he should have an explanation. I hope this time, he doesn’t change the questions and stick to whatever I want to hear. I really want to have a conversation and sort out things. I do believe in his plans but still, can we just talk for once?